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VP’s unite to raise funds for Kevin Smith

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LOS ANGELES – Calling what happened to Kevin Smith an “outrage of epic proportions” and the “greatest tragedy since the Market Crash of 1987” five American Vice-Presidents, including current Vice President Joe Biden, announced they would be raising funds to aid the beleaguered film director.

At a joint appearance today in front of the Southwest Ticket Counter at LAX, the five men who at different times have held the second most powerful office in the land, called upon the American public to donate money to help Kevin Smith pay for an additional seat every time he boards a Southwest flight.

“Some people want to help by sending diet pills or fresh produce,” said former-VP Walter Mondale. “Just send your cash.”

Former VP George H.W. Bush echoed the sentiments saying that as Kevin Smith continues to get fatter the need for funds will only increase. “This effort is only in its infancy. By 2015 we hope to raise enough funds allow Mr. Smith to purchase four or five seats every time he flies.”

Former VP Al Gore said there was some evidence to believe that airline seats were actually getting smaller. “Economy class seats have lost one centimeter of width per year since 2001. It’s an inconvenient truth that the airline industry must accept.” Mr. Gore admitted this was based on second hand anecdotes and that he himself has not flown in coach since 1965.

Former VP Dan Quayle attempted to spell “Southwest”, but declined to finish after spelling South: “S-O-W-T-H”.

Editor’s note: Former Vice-President Dick Cheney was not available to be photoshopped at press time.

Written by ikeusa

February 20, 2010 at 3:17 pm