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Dust on fridge, “No big deal,” says Shaq

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LOS ANGELES – A spokesperson for Shaquille O’Neal reiterated Monday the former NBA superstar is unperturbed by reports of accumulating dust on the top of a Maytag refrigerator in his studio apartment.

“I can tell you Mr. O’Neal is aware of the situation. But I cannot confirm that he gives an iota of concern one way or another,” said Dan McGlicken, O’Neal’s spokesperson for personal affairs.

The statement was immediately parsed by sports commentators, who both lambasted and praised the 7-foot 1-inch O’Neal.

“Most people cannot see the top of the fridge, so a little dust is to be expected,” said Nancy Clientele, a sports radio show talk show host on KJAM San Diego.

“But if you’re Shaq, you ‘re looking at the top of refrigerators all day long, so you don’t really have an excuse for a dusty Maytag, as far as I’m concerned,” Clientele said.

Other commentators said the attacks against Mr. O’Neal were misguided.

“What concerns me most is not the dust, but why somebody like Shaq is living in a studio apartment. The lack of housekeeping points to a deeper psychological issue, perhaps depression,” said Lawrence Waverly, a freelance writer for ESPN magazine.

Sources close to Shaq say his studio apartment is usually strewn with pizza boxes and VHS copies of “Kazaam”, a 1996 comedy film starring O’Neal that lost nearly $2 million at the box office.

“Shaq isn’t depressed,” says lifelong friend Jonny Jenks. “He’s just exhausted. Truthfully, he’s been up for days, making phone calls, blasting tweets, struggling to find a backer for his Kazaam 2 screenplay.

“Cut the man some slack, okay? On the road to redemption, some things are more important than a tidy fridge,” Jenks said.

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Written by ikeusa

November 14, 2011 at 6:20 pm