The Daily Debacle

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Posts Tagged ‘education

Rossetta Stone releases teenage slang software

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ARLINGTON – Rosetta Stone Ltd. the company behind the best selling language learning software has released a new teenage slang educational CD. Advocates say the breakthrough product could help bridge the generational divide between children ages 10-17 and adults 21 and older.

“What up dawg? Want to tweet about this?,” said Armond Burgess, 34, as he practiced his new found language skills while using the CD. He was less impressed by the Hannah Montana soundtrack that accompanies the software. “Cultural immersion is the best way to learn a new language, but this is pretty square,” he said.

The software is also unpopular among many tweens who say the software is already outdated. “The software still has phrases like ‘cat’s pajamas’ and ‘too cool for school’ which were in vogue during my parents’ generation,” said Mike Gorstrom, 12.

According to a Facebook.com poll more appropriate phrases might include ‘hello kitty’s long johns’ and ‘way better than online American Studies courses’, respectively.

Written by ikeusa

March 30, 2009 at 11:51 pm

Merit pay could result in P.E. teacher doing actual work

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SOUTH VILLA – Physical education instructor Mike Darby announced today that he would consider doing quantifiable work if the government provided merit-based pay for teachers.

“If the government paid me say $5,000 more every month, I would consider leading young people in other activities besides dodgeball,” Mr. Darby said in a written statement.  “I would also be willing to attend more mandatory staff meetings, within reason.”

Students at South Villa Middle School say Mr. Darby is the main reason they refuse to overachieve in the gym or the classroom.  “I don’t think the district could have picked a more uninspiring physical education teacher,” said David Pierce, 15, “He likes to sit around the gym and yell at students for not throwing hard enough while playing dodgeball.”

Mr. Pierce said he has sent a hand written letter to his congresswoman advocating for merit pay. “It is the only chance we really have to play a game of kickball before the semester is over.  I hope the Congress acts quickly on this,” Mr. Pierce said.

Written by ikeusa

March 15, 2009 at 6:52 pm