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Batman sues Clinton over “3 a.m.” ad

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Batman heads to federal court

Batman’s legal team confirmed today that he is suing Senator Hillary Clinton over what he calls “borderline slanderous libel” stemming from the Senator’s recent campaign advertisement depicting Mrs. Clinton answering a White House phone at 3 a.m.

“For about thirty years now, I have been the late night phone operator at the White House,” Batman said today on his way to a Federal court, “I find Senator Clinton’s assumption that she’ll be taking late night calls at the White House a bit misleading, if not flat out wrong.”

Unbeknownst to most Americans, Batman has been serving as First Phone Operator for decades.

“I’m a bat and a crime fighter, so when President Kennedy called asking if I was interested in the late night phone detail, I felt honored,” Batman said referring to his original appointment in 1962. “President Johnson liked me so much he added my appointment into his Great Society bill.” From that time on, Batman says he became a White House institution.

“I played poker with Nixon, ate jelly beans with Reagan,” Batman joked. Out of all the Presidents, Bill Clinton was his favorite. “I’d be manning the phone at 3 a.m. and Clinton would walk in, fully awake. We’d throw darts for awhile and then he’d leave. The man was an insomniac, but extremely friendly.”

But Batman has not always had strong support from every First Family. He recalls a time when First Lady Rosalynn Carter thought he was a real bat. “Rosalynn Carter didn’t like me much. She thought I carried some rabid disease. It took the Surgeon General to convince her that I was actually a man wearing a costume.”

Batman says he was hesitant to file suit against Mrs. Clinton. “I think she’s a great lady, but when she misrepresents my official capacity, I have to speak up.” Representatives from Mrs. Clinton’s campaign have not yet addressed the matter publicly.

Batman said preliminary court proceedings were slated for March 22nd.

Written by ikeusa

March 5, 2008 at 7:56 am